So, a bit over a week since the “bad tidings”. Or can it actually be called bad? The procedure thought of this procedure has been running over and over in my mind. To begin with, I was all over the place emotionally. I don’t particuarly like entertaining the thought of facing yet another round of major surgery. The surgeon seems to think it will more than likely be sucessful, but still.
I have a very good positive to note though. My appointment last week has opened a flood gate of information as I now know exactly what to look for. And thanks to the suggestion of a very good friend of mine, I have actually found a support group on Facebook which is linked to ISS. In the last few days I have started speaking to affected women from all over the world and also following someone undergoing the very procedure I will probably be facing at some point soon. Can you imagine the relief?
There is a big difference between knowing therer are other patients out there with the same disease and actually being able to talk about it. Unfortunately, though a lot of my friends try and show understanding as much as possible, which I am so incredibly grateful for, they have no clue what you go through with this. I don’t feel quite so exotic now, which was the case the last ten years. Still leaves the question: what next?
I am waiting to receive an appointment where the surgeon can have a look at things directly (another GA – yay….. I’m sure my body is just out for the meds…..) and where this waiting is making me not have to think about the not to distant medical future, it is tedious, crippling, it sometimes makes me want to crawl up the walls. A part just wants to totally block it out, not think about it, another wants to have had it done yesterday. But there seems to be progress to an extent.